Racism: It’s What’s for Dinner on First Dates

Racism: It’s What’s for Dinner on First Dates

[Content Notice for Eating Disorders]

When I say that racism is everywhere, I can almost feel the response welling up in naysayers. Racism enablers and denialists seem to think that those of us who point out racism are Oprah, handing out a racism to everyone and everything. “You get a racism! And you get a racism! And you get a racism! Everybody gets a racism!”

Oprah smiling and pointing outward, caption reads "This is racist. That is racist. That is racist. Everything is racist."

Calling out racism is more along…

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An Ex-Muslim’s Quest for Pigs (Hold the Sexism)

An Ex-Muslim’s Quest for Pigs (Hold the Sexism)

I’ll mince no words here: the premise contained in the title of Sam Harris’s response to #EstrogenVibe(you can easily find his piece if you want to read it) doesn’t offend me — it disgusts me to my core. As it’s on his personal site, the title can’t be blamed on a clickbait-hungry editor or website, either. He defensively chose to claim that atheist feminists like me are constantly and…

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Ally” inherently relies on the marginalized identities of others in order to even exist. It’s a way for people not marginalized in that particular way to feel included. They have a word to put on a sticker, button, t-shirt, or pendant, too. In the case of gender and sexual minorities, they can join the LGBTQ alphabet soup with a tacked-on “A” at the end.

Truly acting like an ally to a cause isn’t about pledging your allegiance then being absolved forevermore from doing the work. It’s about getting better, doing better, thinking better. It’s about being corrected when you’re wrong more than straight-up bigots because, ostensibly, you’re on this side of things and are interested in doing, getting, and thinking better. It’s about having patience and being forgiving with members of marginalized groups who might not cushion their call-outs and critiques as much as they would with someone who isn’t claiming to be on their side.

After all, you wanted to be part of this group, right? You wanted a special title, too, right? Intragroup dynamics are always harsher than intergroup ones because the assumption is camaraderie-in-arms.

Why I Don’t Like Calling Myself an “Activist” or “Ally”

Why I Don’t Like Calling Myself an “Activist” or “Ally”

This isn’t to say that there’s nowhere online where I am described as an activist or an ally to something or other, mind you. It’s that I very much hesitate to call myself by either of those terms.

I call myself a writer, blogger, soon-to-be-author, speaker, presenter, facilitator, workshop coordinator, quasi-professional ex-Muslim, disrupter of narratives. I claim the titles that relate to my…

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On the Use of Drugs for Their Prescribed Purpose

Yes, I Use Drugs for Their Prescribed Purpose http://wp.me/p4THPH-cD7

Note: I’m sorry for having to continue to blog about this. Ignore it if you prefer my posts that aren’t about community issues. I try to keep those rare and still have a point to them beyond “they said / did a thing, here’s what I think.”

To follow up to my last post, Eshto reactivated then deactivated his Twitter, but not before quoting two of my friends-only posts on Facebook. These have been…

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At Least Four Internet Jerks Are Not Nice People Offline

At Least Four Internet Jerks Are Not Nice People Offline

There are some who claim that if only we were all away from this Internet thing, everything would be alright. According to this theory, perfectly nice, decent people suddenly morph into complete monsters lacking any and all humanity online. Trolls, their defenders, and people who hate technology all chant this “He means well” and “I’m sure she’s nice if you get to know her not-on-the-Internet”…

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A Woman’s Room Online Event & Live Feed

What a week for skepto-atheist sexism it has been: Shermer, Dawkins, Harris — not to mention their defensive fans who are so irrationally invested in the perfection of their heroes that they cannot see blatant, shameless misogyny for what it is.

While Shermer, Dawkins, and Harris aren’t vicious internet trolls, their expressed sexism and misogyny helps to create a sense of safety and acceptance…

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Sam Harris: Misogynistic or #EstrogenVibe Entrepreneur?

Sam Harris said something… well, interesting is a word.

There’s something about that critical posture that is to some degree instrinsically [sic] male and more attractive to guys than to women,” he said. “The atheist variable just has this – it doesn’t obviously have this nurturing, coherence-building extra estrogen vibe that you would want by default if you wanted to attract as many women as…

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What Exactly Does “Skeptic” Mean Anymore?

What Exactly Does “Skeptic” Mean Anymore?

Last night, Mark Oppenheimer, the same journalist who wrote the New York Times piece about EXMNA that featured Sadaf and myself, posted a piece about Michael Shermer. It includes the names of three of those speaking out against Shermer’s treatment of them, one of whom is Ashley Miller, my fellow FTBer and my friend, of whom I am so proud for speaking out.

Stephanie has posited some important…

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