#WhyIStayed: How to Rationalize Your Abusive Relationship

#WhyIStayed: How to Rationalize Your Abusive Relationship

Content notice for all things domestic abuse

Whenever you realize what’s going on, remember

  • The wedding. How glamorous you felt. How happy everyone’s mom was. How sternly affectionate everyone’s dad was. How even the relatives you hate seemed lovely to you. How even the relatives who hate you wished you well without coming off as entirely passive-aggressive.
  • The cute story about the mishap from…

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That Time I Almost Became a Gender Statistic

That Time I Almost Became a Gender Statistic http://wp.me/p4THPH-cI6

This is post 2/4 of an October Friday uncouth rant series leading up to Halloween. Content notice for gendered slurs. The genesis for this was conceived in a Jezebel comment thread of which I was reminded thanks to a friend’s comment thread. 

The meme of Jimmy McMillan of The Rent Is Too Damn High Party, captioned "The ladies' cleaning standards are too damn high!" A few years ago, a few places, notably Forbes, posted pieces along the lines of “you crazy bitches are make it all up! It’s not men’s fault that you do…

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Viewing Child Porn Far Is Worse Than Being a Pedophile

Viewing Child Porn Far Is Worse Than Being a Pedophile

Content notice for what the tin says

When I get drunk, I vaguebook or answer the (ahem) after-dark type questions I often get on Ask.fm. It’s not as if laptops, tablets,  smartphones, and other web-enabled devices have built-in breathalyzers that redirect you to child porn if you’re intoxicated enough. According to John Grisham, however, it’s all too easy to get drunk and stumble onto images of…

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#AnApostatesExperience: Why I Declared My Apostasy

#AnApostatesExperience: Why I Declared My Apostasy

Content notice for body image.

Yesterday, we at EXMNA made #AnApostatesExperience happen in response to Reza Aslan — who utterly missed the point.

He wasn’t the only Muslim responding. I got one Muslim who told me that I would’ve been better off taking off my headscarf rather than full-on coming out to my family as an atheist. This person is hardly alone. More than one Muslim has asked me why I…

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#AnApostatesExperience: A Plea to Reconsider Your Love for Reza Aslan

#AnApostatesExperience: A Plea to Reconsider Your Love for Reza Aslan

Remember when Sam Harris said a misogynistic thing and doubled-down on it by talking about how he has a wife, a mother, and a female editor whose contributions to his work he highly values? Most white liberal atheists saw that for what it was and mocked him. It’s the “I have a black friend” argument.

Reza Aslan did a version of that yesterday regarding #AnApostatesExperience.

I guess folks doing

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Writings From Elsewhere: Monetizing Your Plain Old Non-Designer Used Clothes

Writings From Elsewhere: Monetizing Your Plain Old Non-Designer Used Clothes

Despite the fact that I don’t spend much on my apparel to begin with, I’ve had some modest success in making a little bit of money from clothing that I no longer wanted. I also picked up some tricks from working for an eBay consignment company.

I’ve shared them over the weekend at xoJane.

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Top Five Arguments the Atheist Agenda Doesn’t Have the Right to Use

I’m sure you or someone you know has seen or posted Michael Luciano’s Atheists Don’t Owe Your Social Justice Agenda a Damn Thing piece on The Daily Banter. It’s a short piece using the conference I attended this weekend, Moving Social Justice, to claim that expecting atheists to care about such outlandish things as equality diversity is “silly” because the dictionary definition of an atheist is…

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National Coming Out Day: I Don’t Want to Hang Out in Your Poly Closet

National Coming Out Day: Not #Poly Closets for Me http://wp.me/p4THPH-cHH #polyamory

This is post 1/4 of an October Friday uncouth rant series leading up to Halloween. Content notice for horror movie GIFs. A version of this appeared on my Facebook page.

There are days when I do my darndest to be full of subtlety and nuance. This is not one of those days. Since today is National Coming Out Day, let’s talk about closets.

I’m out about a lot of things, things some might say I ought…

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Ajar Thread: Unusual Triggers

Ajar Thread: Unusual Triggers

[Specific content notice for domestic / emotional abuse for the post itself; general content notice for the comments]

Do you have any triggers? What are they? How do they affect you?

I’ve been coming to realize that I did not resonate with most conversations around triggers because mine don’t seem to follow others’ narratives.

(more…)

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Sam Harris Might Be Changing His Tune on Islam

Sam Harris Might Be Changing His Tune on Islam

In conversations regarding Sam Harris on a recent post, it was brought to my attention that Harris is collaborating with a noted Muslim reformer, Maajid Nawaz, on a forthcoming e-book. This, along with Harris’s statements that he does not think all Muslims are terrorists, was used to claim that I was misrepresenting Harris’s views.

When I said that “Maher and Harris would have you believe that…

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